


Time For That Now

by RhoscPixie



Series: Hush, Scream [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series), Critical Role (Wildemount Campaign)
Genre: Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Worth Issues, Team as Family, mentions of minor character death, spoilers for episode 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-23 01:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13776417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhoscPixie/pseuds/RhoscPixie
Summary: After Caleb's flashback from the latest battle, Mollymauk said "There's time for that later." It's later, and Molly keeps his word.Or, a self indulgent fic about Caleb falling apart, and Molly helping him not so much putting himself back together, but really just making sure that the pieces are in the same general area for when Caleb is ready to reassemble himself.(contains minor spoilers for the 2nd campaign thus far, if you're not caught up to episode 7)





	Time For That Now

**Author's Note:**

> So this is both my first foray into posting fanfiction publically, and any sort of active participation in... any fandom other than just liking and commenting. Huh, just realized that. Anyway...
> 
> Some notes:
> 
> Spoilers include: Episode Six, Episode Seven (and I think that's it? Let me know if I've missed any!)
> 
> There are mentions of Toya, Bryce, Frumpkin, and Shakäste, but I didn't tag them because each is a literal passing mention, and I hate having to sort through fics for certain characters who are just passing mentions. If anyone needs me to change that, I can.
> 
> This fic mentions Frumpkin's death. It's casual and in passing twice, but it is a mention of death.
> 
> This is entirely self indulgent. I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort, and Caleb is my favorite thus far (I have a lot in common with him okay??? We both hang out with goblins and like books and cats and are ginger but I smell better), so after that battle with the priest? I knew I had to write something about it. And I did. At 3AM, because I was too hyped up to sleep, and I couldn't talk to anyone about how epic it was. I also love Molly, and knew I had to write something about that interaction between him and Caleb. 
> 
> EDIT: strong language warning, there's one use of "fuck" in here. Just wanted to give a heads up, just in casies.  
> EDIT 2: a kind reader pointed out that "Team as Family" also fits this. Thanks Purplehuntress3!!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Critical Role cast or characters, they belong to themselves, their creators, and the brain of Matthew Mercer, to whom I humbly gape at because _wow_ is he talented. Apologies if any characters are out of character.

The preparations for feast to celebrate their return from the gnoll mines was already underway, despite it being past sunset. Alfield wasn't a large place by any means, but they certainly did know how to throw a party. 

Bryce herded them towards the tavern they stayed at the night before (Caleb couldn't remember the name, though he knew they mentioned it), talking about how tomorrow would be a grand celebration, but tonight, they should eat, rest, sleep. 

As the ragtag group watched the town bustle with an energy previously unseen from a table in the tavern, Caleb sat, silent.

Distantly, he missed Frumpkin. Yes, Caleb could resurrect him, as he told Shakäste (who disappeared into the darkening night like the badass he was), but Caleb still wished that his cat was there, perched on his shoulder, a gentle weight. Maybe even purring. But Frumpkin got obliterated and Nott almost died, and the fire--

Caleb took a deep, shuddering breath, and Nott squeezed his hand tighter. When did she sit down next to him?

"Alright, c'mon." Caleb startled, nearly crashing into Mollymauk, who had appeared at his side. Or maybe Molly hadn't left. Caleb wasn't really sure; after the priest went down, everything was sort of... hazy. There was the sharp sting of Molly slapping Caleb clean across the face, the warm, dry kiss Molly planted on his forehead, Molly leading him out of the cavern with Beau, neither even bickering as they sandwiched Caleb between them, Molly, saying "there's time for that later," Molly, Mollymauk.

There was a song, Caleb had heard, once, maybe ages ago, about mollymauks. Maybe Jester knew it. Jester seemed like the type to know it. Or maybe Fjord, since he was a sailor.  
A warm hand touched Caleb's shoulder, and he jumped, again.

"You back with us?" Molly asked, voice soft. Caleb nodded. "Words, Caleb. I know it's hard, but if you can."

" _Ja_." Zemnian, though his first language, stuck in the back of Caleb's throat. He swallowed, but it did nothing to help his dry mouth. "I am... back. With you." Nott leaned into Caleb, giving her wordless support. Gods, what had he ever done to deserve her? He spared her a glance, but Nott was already back eating with her free hand, shoving food into her cheeks while Jester encouraged her, saying something about chipmunks and hamsters.

"Glad to hear it." Molly smiled. "Now, let's get out of here." 

" _Was_?" Caleb must have misheard Molly.

"You're not a fan of people, right?" Molly said, hand still on Caleb's shoulder. "Well, let's get back to the room then. The rest can enjoy the night." Molly stood, and gently took Caleb by the elbow and helped him stand as well. 

With a sudden panic, Caleb looked at Nott, still holding tight to her hand. Going back to their room sounded _amazing_ , but...

Knots formed in his chest, and Caleb looked down at Nott's hand in his.

_All his fault..._

"She'll be fine." Molly said, quiet. Caleb looked back at Molly. "Nott'll be fine. She and Jester will have a grand time stealing baubles from the other patrons and Beau will watch out for them both with Fjord." 

"I can come." Nott said, putting down the food. There was still dried blood across her torso, scratch marks from the manticore on her face. Jester's healing had done wonders, but Nott needed food too, and company of... of her friends. And yet she was willing to go hide away with Caleb for the gods-know-what time. "It's—"

" _Nein_." Caleb cut Nott off with a shakey smile. " _Nein, bleib_." Nott looked at Caleb, confusion clear across her face. He tried again. "No, stay. I... I will be fine." Nott didn't looked convinced, but she let go of Caleb's hand nonetheless, after giving it one final squeeze. Jester shoved some of her own food onto Nott's plate with a beaming smile.

"We can practice stealing after you eat!" Jester said, and with a flicker of idea, began searching her bag. "I think I still have a donut in here too! It is very good, with pretty sprinkles! You'll love it." Across the table, Fjord nodded to Caleb.

"We'll keep 'em both outta any sort of mischief." The half-orc promised. Next to him, Beau shook the mostly empty bag of ball bearings with a lazy grin.

"This should keep them both busy for a while too." She said, a glint of the same mischief Fjord promised to keep them out of in her eyes. Caleb looked at his companions, unsure of what to make of... well, any of this.  
"... _danke_." He finally settled on.  
"Up to the room with you now." Molly murmured, and wrapped an arm tight across Caleb's shoulders. With a sure step and guiding touch, Molly led Caleb away from the table.

The stairs creaked under Caleb's feet, or at least, they did, but he was now in the room, their little room with the one bed that couldn't fit all six of them.

"Right," Molly said, closing the door behind them. Caleb blinked, and Molly was next to him. The lavender tiefling was the only one in the room, the lamp near the door flickered, and

_smoke was choking him, cutting off more than just air, but words, cries for help. Caleb couldn't see past the grey-black smoke, save for the glowing embers, the skull that still burned—_

Caleb took in a deep shuddering breath. 

There wasn't time for that now.

Later, Molly had said. Later, when Caleb was alone. Molly would go back and join the others soon.

"Caleb," Molly said. The tiefling's voice was gentle, like it had been with Toya, and he was warm, but not burning like the fires, and Caleb felt Molly's hands on the sides of his face and he stared into the red eyes, those red _red_ eyes, and Caleb forced his eyes away as the tears gathered, ashamed of himself.

He was a coward. He couldn't do anything right, Nott almost _died. Again. Because of **him**._

"Caleb." Molly was firmer this time, but Caleb didn't look back. "Caleb, I don't know what happened, and I won't pretend that everything's going to be fine. But you're safe here. It's just you and me, just us."

"No fires." Caleb said, voice shaking. One of Molly's hands travelled towards Caleb's hair, finger-combing through it, swooping it up and out of his eyes. The other rubbed a thumb against his cheek. Molly, with his swords and tricks and cards and half truths, was gentle and soothing and there. 

"No fires." Molly agreed. "You're alright, _A Chara_ , no fires." Caleb reached out, fisted Molly's coat in both hands, and.

And he just.

Caleb fucking lost it. 

His shoulders shook as he tried, he _tried_ to keep it together, but there was Mollymauk, weirdo-circus-tiefling-Mollymauk, cupping Caleb's grimy face in his hands, uncaring as Caleb sobbed.

"Shhhh, _A Chara_ , just let it out. It's alright, just let it out. There's time now, there's time now, it's alright." Caleb shook his head, tears streaming down his face. Molly made a noise, something broken and soothing, and Caleb felt himself being pulled forward. He gasped out a sob as Molly pressed his dirty, gross face into the crook of the neck of the (still) most ostentatious coat Caleb had ever seen. He choked on his own spit, _painfully_ aware that he was crying on someone he had known not even a week, but unable to make himself stop. Molly paid no heed as Caleb likely ruined his coat, still standing there, one hand on the back of Caleb's neck and into his hair, the other wrapped around his back, holding him. 

Caleb had never felt so open, so exposed, so raw in... in maybe his whole life.

"There's time now, Caleb. Take all the time you need." The warm hand in Caleb's hair moved up and down, threading through the ginger locks, nails scraping Caleb's scalp. Molly pressed a kiss to the top of Caleb's head, which to reasons unknown to Caleb, prompted a fresh heave of sobs. "Oh Caleb, the world's really done a number on you." Molly said, voice so quiet Caleb almost missed it over his loud, ugly sobbing. "But it's alright, we've got you. Us weirdos, we stick together. And it's alright, there's time now. There's time now. Just let it out." The smell of incense and dried herbs was so _Mollymauk_ , but reminded him that Frumpkin wasn't there too. 

Gods above, Caleb missed his cat. And he hated himself for crying over missing his cat, and how he couldn't keep it together, he was weak and a coward and useless and and _and_

"I've got you Caleb, you're safe, everyone's safe." Mollymauk was holding him there in more ways than one, with reassurances and soothing words. Caleb was spinning, spinning endlessly and out of control for _so_ long, and here was an anchor, and for once, Caleb didn’t question the motivation behind it.

Caleb doesn't know how long they stood there for. He barely remembers the sobs shuddering to a stop and Molly gently untangling Caleb from the coat to shuffle him over to the bed. He vaguely remembers Molly placing his coat and books aside, but only because Molly made him answer with words (twice, because " _I don't speak Zemnian Caleb_ ") when the tiefling asked if it was alright. There is no memory of anything past Caleb being boxed in against the wall on the bed, face-to-chest with Molly as the tiefling forced him to cuddle, talking about times in the circus, how once Bo the Strongman had to arm wrestle fourty men in one town, but was bested by Toya, that warm lavender hand carding though his hair over and over—

Caleb woke up to Beau's grumblings from somewhere below him, Fjord near her, chuckling with his low, deep laugh. Jester was jumping on the bed as Nott held onto Caleb's leg too-tight, Molly snickering as Jester's song got bawdier and raunchier, half-heartedly trying to quiet her. And despite his eyes burning, head throbbing, skin feeling too tight in places, Caleb...

Caleb felt good.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! I'm thinking of doing a follow up from Molly's point of view, if anyone is interested in reading it.  
> (If not, I'll probably write it anyway because _I'm_ interested in reading it, lol.)
> 
> A few quick final notes I wanted to add--  
> Caleb is disassociating for most of this story (which is why I also ~~might do~~ wrote a Mollymauk POV; it ~~wouldn't~~ doesn't jump around so much, and is titled _Weirdos Stick Together_ ), and is dealing with some major PTSD issues. If you or someone you know is dealing with PTSD, please reach out. It's scary, but help is out there, and therapy is a wonderful resource if you need it. Caleb also has terrible self esteem, and that definitely reflects in my interpretation of him.  
> ...basically Caleb and I have a lot in common and I use him as a punching bag because it's _slightly_ healthier, alright?
> 
> Translations!  
> Ja- Yes (German)  
> Was- What (German)  
> Nein- No (German)  
> Nein, bleib- No, stay (German--Thanks Kiieri for the correction!)  
> Danke- Thank you (German)  
> A Chara- my friend (Irish Gaelic term of endearment--I got this one from google, so if I'm wrong please let me know!)
> 
> Anything you want to say or talk to me about, please feel free to let me know! I'd be thrilled to chat to anyone about Critical Role (though I'm still working on the first campaign...)
> 
> EDIT: As... probably everyone has noticed, this is now the first in a series titled _Hush, Scream_. Yay series! Why did it take me almost a month to write this note? Because my life is a chaotic mess that would make Caleb feel better about himself! So enjoy the series as I post more stories, or whenever, don't let me tell you how to live your life
> 
> (GOD I am a _MESS_ of a human just ignore me I'm very awkward)


End file.
